Princess Satire by Nicole C.

1. EXTERIOR - FANTASTICA
The scene focuses on Fantastica, the worst place to live in the whole world, filled with garbage and unwanted items on the street. Trees, flowers, and hills do not exist in Fantastica. Scene fades into the one and only castle in Fantastica where Princess Patty lives. The sun has just risen and Patty decides to proceed with her morning walk around the town.

Patty: I see the sun rising. Good morning Patty! Did you have a good sleep?! Yes, I did. Thank you for asking, Patty. My, you are very gorgeous today, Patty! Oh boy! What a dream?! Seeing myself in a beautiful wedding gown makes me want to look for my prince. I want my prince to be handsome, rich, kind. I hope I find him soon. AH! (shrieks) The sun is up and I did not begin my morning walk. What could be better to start my day than making fun of people as they work?

Patty dresses herself and makes her way out of the door.

Patty: (opens door) Good morning… (coughs) Fantastica!

Patty travels by unattractive houses complementing how hideous they appear. Then, Patty passes by numerous stores and a couple of schools. On his way too school, a little boy accidentally bumps into Patty.

Patty: Excuse me?

Little Boy: Yes, ma’am?

Patty: You just ran into me! Apologize now for I am a princess and you, (points to the boy) a commoner.

Little Boy: I shall not apologize to an unattractive woman who calls herself a princess! You ma’am, are no princess. Princesses contain beauty and class, and you (points to Patty), do not have any. (The Little boy runs to school).

Patty: I am appalled! I AM A PRINCESS! Don’t I live in a castle and wear fine clothing? I am the most beautiful and richest woman in Fantastica! Everyone must obey me (points to herself). ME! ME! ME!



2. Local Market

Patty continues walking around the town and stops at a local store selling her favorite pizza. Patty buys a pizza and eats it as she continues walking. However, this pizza was like no other because it was not savory and delicious. Since this pizza did not have any good taste, she decides to throw it away. A homeless man watches her dispense the pizza and decides to retrieve and eat it himself. In a matter of seconds the homeless man launched a couple of coughs. Patty turns around and observes that a man ate her pizza and was red as a cherry tomato. Patty runs to rescue the chocking man. After a couple of squeezes near the abdomen, a piece of pizza flew out of his mouth.

Patty: Are you okay?

Homeless Man: (turning around to answer her question) Yes, I am fine now. Thank you so much. If it was not for you, I probably would have died on the side of the road and no one would bother to help me.

After he responded, she was speechless and stuck in the moment.
From that moment, Patty looked inside his eyes and fell in love. She knew this filthy man was her prince. She thought to herself that underneath all his unkempt clothing, he was what Patty was looking for.

Patty: (whispers to herself) He is perfect!

Homeless Man: What?

Patty: Oh! (Laughs) Nothing!

Homeless Man: Thanks again. (Starts walking away from Patty).

Patty: Wait! Sorry what is your name?

Homeless Man: Jarvis. My name is Jarvis.

Patty: (thinking to herself) Jarvis, I love it. Soon, we will be Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis. (talking to Jarvis) Hi Jarvis, I’m Patty. Nice to meet you.

Jarvis: Hey Patty, nice to meet you too, but I need to go somewhere with someone. Thanks again.

Patty does not bother at all about what he says and invites him to have a lunch date.

Patty: Um. That’s good. So do you want to have lunch with me today?

Jarvis: Sorry, but I really have to go…

Patty: (interrupts) But princesses do not take “no” for an answer.

Jarvis: I’m sorry, but what did you say? Did you say that you are a princess? (Pauses and thinks to himself) A princess, eh? Princesses have so much money. If I go on this date and make her happy, she will surely give me money and anything that I want. (Talks to Patty) Well of course I will go with you, Princess.

Patty: All right, let’s go!

Patty and Jarvis walk together hand in hand. She brings him to an elegant and lovely restaurant. They get seated and talk about each other.

Patty: Well, Jarvis, to start off I thank you for coming with me to eat.

Jarvis: No problem. I …

Patty: Jarvis, what are you doing? I am talking and you are supposed to listen to me! I am a princess and you are my date, so, LISTEN TO ME! Okay?!

Jarvis: Yup. Sorry, please continue. (Thinks to himself) She is definitely a pain in the neck, but when I’m through with her, I won’t have to listen to her anymore.

Patty and Jarvis continued with their lunch date with Jarvis listening to every word Patty said. Their lunch date lasted for a couple of hours. When the date finished, Patty paid for their food and they made their way back to the castle.

At the castle, Patty gave Jarvis instructions for him to follow.

Patty: (with a serious face) Pick me up here at the crack of dawn and do not be late. (Patty smiles while entering the castle. She slams the door in his face.)

When Jarvis leaves the castle, Patty tells her maid to go to the market and buy the most expensive ring. Without any hesitation, her made went to the nearest store and bought what was asked of her. When she arrived at the castle, she gave it to Patty.

Patty: Thanks. You can go now. I’m sleepy, bye. (Patty closes her door). (Thinking to herself) I love Jarvis so much and I want him to marry me already. When he comes tomorrow in the morning I’ll give the ring to him and ask his hand in marriage. Or should I give the ring to him and tell him to ask me for my hand in marriage? What should I do? I have never felt for nervous in my life. (As she thinks about what to do, she falls asleep, awaiting the arrival of Jarvis.

As Jarvis looks for somewhere to sleep, he is nearly trampled by a horse that belongs to a beautiful woman.

Woman: Sorry! Are you alright? I did not see you?

Jarvis: Watch where you’re going next time, okay? (Looks at the woman and becomes shocked by her beauty.) Sorry ma’am I did not bother to look where I was going. Madam, may I ask? Why travel through Fantastica at this time of hour?

Woman: (Talks with an uninterested tone) I went to run some errands for my family, who lives in Wondermania, the country next to this. You see my father, the king, needed me to send a message to his friend.

Jarvis: Have you completed your task? If not, I would be more than happy to help you.

Woman: Thank you for your generosity but it is not needed. I completed my task and now, I am on my way some. Good night.

Jarvis: But a woman with your beauty should not travel at this hour without my help.

Woman: I am flattered, but I am not interested in you or your help. Good bye and good night. (She continues traveling with her horse to Wondermania.)

Jarvis: Good bye my love! Until we meet again!



3. Happy One Day Anniversary!

Jarvis wakes up extra early remembering the orders of Patty. As he walks to Patty’s castle, Jarvis remembers the meeting of him and the beautiful woman. He calls to mind her beauty and the way she spoke to him. In a couple of minutes, Jarvis arrives at Patty’s castle, just in time when she wakes up.

Patty: JARVIS! You made it on time. Wait for me and let me get dressed. (She goes back to her room and changes.) Today is the day I get engaged!

As Jarvis waits for Patty, he calls to mind the face of the beautiful woman. Jarvis continuously thinks about the woman – he got bitten by the love bug.

Patty: (Opens the door) JARVIS! How are you?

Jarvis: Good. Actually great!

Patty: That’s good because do you know what today is?

Jarvis: Yes, today is Saturday.

Patty: NO! Today is our… ONE DAY ANNIVERSARY!

Jarvis: (sarcastically) Great!

Patty: (Patty brings out the ring.) I love you so much Jarvis! With the lunch date that we had and the walk home, I feel like I know you inside and out. Also, I am pretty sure you know me too. So, Jarvis, (she gets on one knee) will you marry me?

Jarvis: (Thinks to himself) This happened so quickly. I just met her 24 hours ago and now she wants to get married? Man, I am something with the ladies. Patty is nice and all, but I honestly do not love her. Seeing the beautiful lady last night definitely made my day. I love the beautiful woman, not Patty. (Talks to Patty) Look Patty, you’re a great woman and all, but you are conceited and besides, I am in love with another woman. You see we met yesterday evening when I just brought you home. I looked for somewhere to sleep and this beautiful woman almost trampled me with her horse. She made sure nothing happened to me and she went back home to Wondermania. Until then, I still wait for her arrival.

Patty: How could you after all we’ve been through for the past day! I love you Jarvis!

Jarvis: Stop, do not waste your time on me for my heart belongs to someone else. Here, (hands the ring back to Patty), I am off in search of my truly beloved. (Jarvis leaves Patty).

Patty: What? I gave my heart and soul to that man! I least he could do was to marry me. I miss Jarvis, so much. Come back Jarvis!

4. After a Couple of Years

After the break up between Patty and Jarvis, Patty cried herself to sleep every night and was no longer her blissful self. However, she continued each day with the same routine, getting up early and walking around the town.

Patty: (depressed) Great, the sun is up and now for my morning walk. (Patty gets dressed and begins her walk.)

Patty continues walking and stops by her favorite store selling her favorite pizza. As she orders her pizza, Patty notices a couple that makes themselves comfortable at a table in front of the pizza store. Patty turns around and recognizes the face of the man. IT IS JARVIS, but who is the woman? Patty settles down on a table closes too them overhearing their conversation.

Jarvis: So, how are your mother and father in Wondermania?

Patty: (Thinking to herself) WONDERMANIA? Didn’t Jarvis tell me that he loves a woman from there?

Woman: Father and mother are terrific as usual.

All of a sudden, a little girl and her nanny visit Jarvis and the woman.

Little Girl: Mommy! Daddy! I’m off to school now! Good bye!

Jarvis and the Woman: Good by darlin’! Have a good day and do your best!

As Jarvis watches his little girl go to school, his eyes and Patty’s eyes met. Patty’s eyes were soon filled with tears. Patty couldn’t take it anymore and ran home. Jarvis wanted to talk to her, but Patty outran Jarvis. When Patty got home, she ran to her room and cried. She swore to herself that she would never leave her room. Then, Patty threw the ring out of her window.

Many years passed and so did Patty. After crying and constantly thinking about Jarvis, she died of depression. Then one day, passing by Patty’s castle, Jarvis, now an old man, saw the ring that Patty gave him. He took it and tried to call. However, he did not receive a response. Noticing the front door open, Jarvis went inside and tried to look for Patty. He eventually found her lying on her bed and not breathing. Jarvis touched her – cold. Jarvis did feel regretful about not giving Patty closure. However, Jarvis enjoyed his new life. Then, Patty and Jarvis lived with no happy ever after. The End.