Happily Ever Apart by Dominique D.

Happily Ever After…Apart
Last Night, in a Kingdom on the other side of the Hill, two young lovers met at a party.
“He was the hottest guy at the party.” said Gertrude to her pet chameleon Squirt. Squirt nodded and smiled and acted like he understood what Gertrude was saying. Gertrude was in such a good mood that she began rapping a song about this guy. She started break-dancing all around the tree-house she lived in. While Gertrude was not the most beautiful girl, she was the best break-dancer in the Kingdom, and she could pwn anyone who tried to out rap her.
Meanwhile, Prince Herbert was skipping around the castle he lived in. He explained to his mother, Queen Veronica, about a girl he met at the party last night. Prince Herbert definitely was the hottest, smartest, and nicest guy in the Kingdom. Since he was the Prince, every girl wanted to be with him, and he had gone out with tons of the girls in the Kingdom. As soon as he saw Gertrude, fell in love with her and wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.
“She was the baddest chick there!” exclaimed Prince Herbert to his mother. “She could dance like no one I have ever seen and she was beautiful. So beautiful. She made me forget where I was. I want to marry her.” Prince Herbert had a dreamy look in his eyes as he continued.
“She sounds lovely. What is her name? Does she like you, too?” asked Queen Veronica.
“Gertrude. And yeah, we really clicked last night.”
As soon as he said this, Queen Veronica’s heart sank. She knew Gertrude’s gloomy past. Gertrude’s parents were killed in a car accident 5 years ago and now she lives alone in a tree-house. All she has is her chameleon, her dancing, and her rapping. Queen Veronica was eager to get the two together.
“Invite her to stay in the castle with us, there is enough room for everyone,” offered the Queen.

It took Prince Herbert 4 days to work up the courage to go see Gertrude. He drove to her tree-house and knocked on her door. As soon as Gertrude heard the door, she peeked out the window to see who was there. She saw the Prince and rushed outside.
“Hey Gertrude,” the Prince said with a smile.
“Hi Herbert. What’s up?” she replied.
“My mother and I were wondering if you would like to come live in the castle with us. We have lots of space and she really likes you. And you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. And…”
“Sure!” and Gertrude began to gather all her belongings. In a matter of 10 minutes, Gertrude, Prince Herbert, and Squirt were on their way back to the castle.

“Welcome to our home,” said Queen Veronica “We’re so glad you came to live with us. And Herbert has been talking about you non-stop. Let me show you to your room.”
“Thank you so much,” said Gertrude, “I don’t know how I can repay you.”
“There’s no need for that. I am just happy that my son found someone he loves. I’ve never seen him so happy. I know that one day the two of you will get married and live Happily Ever After.”
Gertrude suddenly blushed and began day-dreaming about her wedding day. As she entered the room, her jaw dropped. The windows stretched from the floor to the ceiling, which was four times taller than her. She had never seen a bed of that size in her life! There was tons of space for her to practice dancing and to keep Squirt happy. As soon as Queen Victoria left the room, Gertrude began rapping about her new home and her new lifestyle. After she had finished rapping, she started to dance. She danced for so long that she missed dinner. When she realized what time it was, she quickly cleaned up and got into bed.
“ZZZZZZZZZ (clears throat) ZZZZZZZZZ (clears throat)”
“What is that awful noise?!” Gertrude thought she was imagining things, but the sound continued. She finally got up and walked to her door. “It’s coming from Herbert’s room.” “OMG he’s a snorer. I’m never going to get sleep.” She said to Squirt, who, as always, pretending like he understood her.

The next morning, breakfast was served at 8:00. Queen Veronica was still sleeping. Prince Herbert and Gertrude were downstairs in the Dining Room. It was twice the size of Gertrude’s room and there were all types of elegant finery in the display cases. She felt like she was in a Fairy Tale. The Chief had made deviled eggs, crispy bacon, toast, and a fruit salad for breakfast. There was also freshly squeezed orange juice. Gertrude dug right in.
“Nom, nom, nom. This food is so delicious.” She said with her mouth full.
“The girl has no manners. She eats like a pig! Listen to the slurping. Urgh,” Prince Herbert said to himself as he politely cut and chewed his food.

The same routine continued for the next few days. Gertrude heard Herbert’s thunderous snoring every night. Herbert watched Gertrude eat her food like a pig. Neither of them said anything in fear of hurting the others’ feelings. As the each day passed, Queen Veronica adored Gertrude even more. She spoiled Gertrude and wanted to do everything with her. Queen Veronica always asked Herbert about when he plans to propose to Gertrude.
Every so often the two would go out on a date either to the movies or a quiet dinner at home. Prince Herbert would always tell her jokes, for example,
“What is a robot’s favorite genre of music?”
“I don’t know.” Gertrude would say with a smile.
“Heavy Metal! LOL. Get it?”
The two of them would burst into a fit of laughing. Herbert laughed high-pitched like a bird chirping. Gertrude laughed so deeply that she sounded like Santa Claus. Both were frightened by the sound of the others’ laugh, but still said nothing. They went on like everything was perfect.
One day, Prince Herbert visited Gertrude’s room.
“It’s so cold in here.”
“I like my room to be cold.”
“That’s nice,” Herbert said, acting like he totally agreed with her, but in reality, he was freezing his butt off. He pretended like everything was perfect.
A few days later, Prince Herbert finally got enough courage to propose to Gertrude. It had been exactly two weeks since they had met at the party. He woke up at the crack of dawn to start baking a cake for Gertrude. It was a beautiful vanilla cake decorated in white and pink frosting; Prince Herbert figured any girl would love pink. He wrote, using the pink frosting, “Will you be my wife?” While he was walking to Gertrude’s room, he started to get nervous. Meanwhile, Queen Veronica happened to wake up and see what her son was doing. She was so excited that she stopped Herbert, grabbed the cake and dashed off to Gertrude’s room, with Herbert following behind.
“Good Morning!” cheered Queen Veronica. She set the cake down and left to let Prince Herbert take over. Prince Herbert got down on his knee and pulled out a ring. Before he had a chance to ask her, she screamed,
“Yes. I would love to marry you.” So Prince Herbert placed the beautiful diamond ring on her finger.
“When should we get married?” Gertrude asked.
“Now,” Herbert said. “I arranged for a priest to come and marry us this afternoon. He should be here in 5 hours. Come on let’s get ready.”
“OMG. Five hours?! I need to get my hair done, find a dress, do my make-up, and…Wait. Where’s Squirt?” As soon as she said that she saw Squirt licking the pink frosting off his lips. There was even some frosting on his tail.
“Calm down. Everything is being taken care of. My mom is gonna handle everything. Don’t worry; it’s going to be perfect. We just need to get fitted in our new clothes.”
“Phew. That’s wonderful. I’ll see you later then. I have to go get my dress! I can’t wait.”
And with that they each went off in their different directions. Gertrude went to get her make-up done and her dress fitted. Prince Herbert went to make sure his tuxedo still fit. Squirt went to his bed to take a nap. And, lastly, Queen Veronica was busy calling people and inviting them to come. She was also getting a cake, balloons, flowers, ribbons, and food. The theme was “A Wedding for a Princess” and everything was light pink and white.
The hours past and it came time for Prince Herbert and Gertrude to get married. She look so beautiful in her dress and he looked very handsome in his tuxedo. Lots of people from the kingdom came to the wedding. Everything was perfect. As Gertrude walked down the aisle, she looked amazing. There was no one else in the kingdom more beautiful than her. Prince Herbert also looked great as he was waiting for Gertrude at the front of the altar. There was no other wedding grander than this one. Queen Veronica was very happy with what she had put together. As the priest said his final words, the two lovers kissed and all the people present cheered. The newlyweds walked back down the aisle together, and headed to their reception.
The reception was held in the grand dining room. The castle chief had prepared the best food for this special occasion. Everyone had lovely things to say about the food; even Squirt was happy. The reception was filled with laughter, smiles, a dance contest, and a rap battle. Of course, Gertrude won both. When the party ended, Gertrude and Prince Herbert went off to pack for their honeymoon: A cruise around Italy.
“I can’t wait. We’re going to be together forever,” said Prince Herbert.
“I know. We’re perfect for each other,” replied Gertrude.
When they began to pack, they started asking questions about each other. They each had assumed things about the other person and now they were finding out those assumptions were wrong. Each time a question was answered, they realized they knew less and less about the other person. Finally Prince Herbert said, “You eat like a pig.”
“Excuse me”
“I am sorry, but you do.”
“Well, you laugh like a girl!”
“You’re laugh is so deep, it makes the ocean seem shallow.”
“Why did we even get married?” Gertrude asked, “I want a divorce.”
“Fine. Let’s get one now,” Prince Herbert replied.
“Okay.”
Prince Herbert and Gertrude went to get their marriage annulled. They had only been married for 2 hours and now they are getting divorced. They both thought it was going to be Happily Ever After, but they were wrong. Once the marriage was annulled, they went back to the castle. Gertrude packed up all her things, and she and Squirt moved back to their real home. Both the Prince and Gertrude moved on with their lives and lived Happily Ever After…Apart.