Para "Just Normal" Activity 2 by Monica H.

Para-“Just Normal” Activity 2

THE FOLLOWING IS A TRUE STORY THAT TAKES PLACE IN A MAKE-SHIFT HOUSE LOCATED IN HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.

It was one evening that changed the Dey’s lives forever. After returning home from a crazy night at a parent-teacher conference, the family was reunited with a house that was literally turned upside down. The coffee table was on its side, the couch had giant slashes, pots and pans were scattered on the floor. They were freaked out to say the least, but after looking around they realized that nothing was actually missing, the house was just trashed. However, the father Michael took things a little more seriously. “I WILL CATCH THE HOOLIGANS THAT DID THIS!” He declared, and the result was security cameras that were set up in every single room in the house, including the closets and bathrooms. Oh, and don’t forget the motion detectors, heat cameras, and spy satellites that he purchased as well.

(The fact that there were no visible signs of a break in should be simply overlooked.)

Throughout the last couple of weeks, strange things had occurred in the house and were caught on tape. These included kitchen cabinets being thrust wide open and their two year old baby boy constantly waking up at night to stare out the window. But despite his little overreaction, the father dismissed everything else as normal. “It’s normal for cabinets to swing open all at once,” he stated. “That’s just the way they were made. Don’t judge them. Only Jesus can judge.”

His wife Stephanie and daughter Amy were suspicious, though. They decided that their house was haunted and it was up to them to prove it to Michael before anyone got hurt. So after searching through the security cameras’ videos, they found one scene in particular that would definitely prove that something was up.

It was a video focused on the outside pool. But if looked at more clearly, it’s obvious to see that the pool cleaner started to rise out of the water and into the air. Then, it started waving around in a circular motion above the ground. Something started playing in the background, yet it wasn’t quite audible. Wait… It was undoubtedly the song “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO. Soon enough, the pool cleaner started shuffling and was later joined by the singers! Flashing lights and special effects included.

Even though the father witnessed all of this, he didn’t believe that anything was wrong. “I SEE IT ALL THE TIME ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL. DON’T WORRY, THIS IS NORMAL.” And that was that.

During that night, however, things took a turn for the worst. A door slammed shut, waking the entire family. All of a sudden, Stephanie was dragged down the stairs by her feet and into the basement. Fists pounded against the door as she yelled for someone to help. Michael then walked downstairs and proceeded to the couch where he turned on the T.V. to watch Monday Night Football. Oddly enough, barks started to materialize from behind the door. Amy ran down the stairs in shock. “What are you doing?” She yelled. “Mom is in the basement barking her head off and you’re more concerned about the Cowboys beating the Forty Niners? Our house is haunted for Pete’s sake!”

“Where’s your evidence?!” Michael exclaimed.

Amy’s eyes grew wide. “What more evidence do you need?” She remarked. “The baby to start floating?”

And as soon as she said that, the baby came into the room, levitating and slowly rotating in circles.

“Okay, fine! If it makes you feel better, I’ll rid the house of this so-called spirit.” After that he got up from his chair and went straight to his bedroom. A few moments later, he returned, wearing a priest costume and holding two chopsticks that were taped together to form a cross because apparently he couldn’t find one. You know what they say: If you can’t find an exorcist, best bet is to be your own.

He opened the basement door and found the mother lying on the stairs. With his ghetto-cross in hand, he lifted it up and said, “I COMMAND THIS SPIRIT TO LEAVE US ALONE.” Forcefully, he pressed the chopsticks onto Stephanie’s body. She started to shake and ended up biting his hand. Foam started to form in her mouth. Then, she jumped up and ran around the house on all fours.

Amy finally came to a conclusion. “Dad, I’m sorry, but our house is haunted by a demon dog, and I’m going to call the police to have you tested for drugs because you’re not smart enough to realize it.”

And so, the police were called to the house, the father scored a positive on his drug tests, the children were placed in foster care, and the mother was kept in an insane asylum for the rest of her life. And they all lived happily ever after.