Satire by Hulali A.

Our story starts off at the home of our main star. Billy Bob Jones is a 12- year old boy, who lives at home with his parents in the small but growing town of Sleepy Hollow, California. At school he is an underdog, merely to “cool” for the other kids. One day he decides to go on an “online meet-a-friend forum” so that he can meet some people who will be his friends.





“Hey mom, I’m going to meet some friends today!” Billy shouted out from his bedroom.

“You get ‘em hun!” excitedly replied his mom from the kitchen.

Billy closed his bedroom door and turned on his laptop. He logged onto his new favorite website, www.openandunsafebutfunforum.friends. Billy had been waiting to go on all day. In only 1 day, already 4 people had accepted his friend request. He was overjoyed, this was the most friends that he had since he could remember. Out of all the friends that he had on the site, one, with the username of cutiepiesweets101, began to start chatting with Billy. Their first conversation went like this:

Cutiepiesweet101: Hey there! What’s your name?



Mommaboy224: Hi! My name is Billy Bob Jones. I’m 12 years old and I go to Sleep Hollows Middle School. I live in Sleepy Hollows, California with my parents. Will you be my friend? :D



Cutiepiesweet101: Oh… um of course i’ll be your friend J So what’s your mom and dad’s name?....



Their conversation lasted for over 2 hours. Billy was so excited, after his new friend had left; he slammed down his laptop and ran downstairs. He found his parents in the living room.

“Mom, dad guess what, guess what!! I made my first friend today! His name is Andrew and he said that he really likes me!”

His mom and dad jumped up, they couldn’t hold back their excitement. Billy’s dad, Albert, gave Billy a big hug and whispered in his son’s ear: “That’s wonderful son! We’re so proud of you!”

“I’m going to make your favorite dinner tonight!” yelled his mother as she was running to the kitchen.

Billy was so excited. He ran upstairs to work on his homework while his mom was cooking dinner. After he was done with his homework, he opened his laptop and began to reread the conversation that he and his new friend had just had. He couldn’t stop smiling the whole night. He almost felt that he couldn’t wait tomorrow, that day just wasn’t coming soon enough! After dinner, Billy went to sleep. All night he dreamt about Andrew and how he would look like when he finally met him.

Andrew and Billy began to talk excessively over the next 3 weeks. Andrew continued to ask Billy very random, strange, and personal questions but Billy being a good friend answered every one of them. Finally one day, their conversation went like this:

Andrew: eh, Billy how about we do something tomorrow? I really want to meet you! You seem like a cool kid J



Billy: That sounds greaaaat! Where do you want to meet?



Andrew: How about in the alley next to your school? Do you mind coming alone?



Billy: Can’t wait! Of course I don’t mind.



Andrew: Awesome. Hey maybe we can go to your house after?



Billy: SURE! My parents will be so excited to meet you!



Andrew: oh okay…i’ll you tomorrow than. Bye Billy.



Billy: Bye best friend! :D



Billy was so excited to finally meet Andrew. The next day he got up extra early and cleaned his whole house. His parents were excited to met Andrew also. They couldn’t wait to meet Billy’s online friend. Billy’s mom was planning to make a huge feast of sweets for Billy and Andrew. After Billy had finished getting the house ready, he went upstairs and started getting himself ready. He took a shower, wore his Sunday best, and combed his hair back; he wanted to look as good as he could for his friend.

Billy left his house after saying good-bye to his parents. He started walking to the alley next to his school. As he got closer, he saw a figure looming in the shadow of the alley.

“Andrew!” Billed called out.

Billy ran to the alley. The figure started to slowly walk out to Billy. The man was 26 years old, dressed in dirty, old clothes, he had a scraggly beard, and he was staring at Billy with a creepy smile.

“Eh kid, are you Billy? I’m Andrew.”

“Yeah, I’m Billy! It’s so awesome to finally meet you. You’re so cool! You’re even older than me!”

“Wait… you’re not scared?”

“Of course not! Wanna come over to my house now?! My parents can’t wait to meet you! My mom even made you some cake to take home to your family!”

“Um… sure. But listen kid…”

Billy grabbed Andrew’s hand and ran back to his house. Yelling to the world that this was Andrew his best friend. When they finally got to Billy’s house, Billy swung the front door open and ushered his friend inside.

“Billy, do you think that it is really safe to let a stranger just come into your house?” asked Andrew as he was gasping for breath.

“You’re not a stranger silly! You’re my friend!”

Before Andrew had a chance to continue speaking, Billy’s mom, Helga, came to the door.

“Albert dear come down! Your son and his friend are here!”

Billy’s dad ran down the stairs. He shook hands with Andrew and offered him a drink.

“What a fine looking young man, Billy’s brought home. He’s so polite and everything!” Albert whispered to his wife as she was cutting cake for the boys.

“I really like him a lot! Say dear, what do you make of the clothes he’s wearing? Don’t you think they look a little dirty?”

“Don’t worry, hun. That’s just the new style! All the cool kids are wearing those types of clothes!

Billy was showing Andrew around the whole house. When they got to his room, Albert asked if they close the door and talk.

“Billy, I have to tell you something.”

“Oh what is it my best friend? My mom is making a snack for us so we should go back down soon.”

“Yeah, sure. Okay, listen Billy; I’ve been lying to you. You see…”

“WHAT?! Best friends don’t lie to each other…”

“Listen Billy! I’m not a 15-year old boy, obviously… My name is Detective Andrew Hogens. I’m 26 years old, and I was working as an undercover agent on the hunt for sex predators. We thought you might be one, but when I met you, you were just a kid. You know Billy, you really shouldn’t give out all that personal information to people you don’t know. It is…”

“Wait, so you’re not my friend anymore…”

“Well Billy, not in the…”

“You’re a mean person. You’re not my friend anymore. Leave. Don’t talk to me anymore.”

Andrew was very confused as he was walking down the stairs. Mrs. Jones ran into him, and immediately asked where Billy was. Andrew told her what he had told Billy. Mrs. Jones told her husband to kick Andrew out of the house because he was mean to Billy.

A few months later, Billy made a real friend from a family who had moved in across the street. After Billy made sure that his new friend wasn’t an undercover officer, they became best friends. They stayed friends for the rest of their life!

Everyone had a happy ending except for Andrew, who lived the rest of his life very confused about the incident with the Jones Family.

The End.